- Mood: Tired/In love/Happy
- Music: Krafty -- New Order
Okay. So, Brian and I are still doing great. I am so madly, truly, insanely in love with him. I don't want anyone else, only him! He means the world to me and that will not ever change. He is my everything and I just love him so much! I have a big thing with youth group to go to tonight. We're leaving at 8:30, but I have to be at the church sometime inbetween 8:00 and 8:10, and we won't get back until 1am. *gasp* That's late, but I'll survive. Lol. I'd have to say it'll be better than staying here, around all the chaos. I just need to get away for awhile. I can't stand living here. So, I'm going to start getting away as often as possible. So, that means youth group every Wednesday and Sunday night, church every Sunday morning, and any other church activities that may come up. Oh, and work, if I ever get a job. Someday, when the time is right, God will open up the door and guide me down a path that will get me out of here. Until then, I just have to deal with it.
--But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.--
- Mood: Happy/Blessed
- Music: I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain
We are doing great...I am doing great! Everything is so wonderful right now. I started going to youth group again, and a church I actually enjoy. It's a good feeling!!
--In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.--
Two months, nine days, still going on strong and love each other more than anything! Today was definitely better than yesterday, but still not the best. I'm still doing my daily devotions and trying to get closer to Jesus. It's definitely working and my religious life and perspective is improving!
--Let your heart therefore be loyal to the Lord our God, to walk in His statutes and keep His commandments, as at this day.--
- Mood: Confused/Hurt
- Music: Numb -- Family Force 5
Brian and I are doing great! I'm not jealous anymore. So, that's very, very good! My relationship with Brian, Maechelle, Bow, and school are the only things going well in my life right now. So, that basically just leaves people at school and home that are not going well. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to put up with everything at home. I mean, the screaming, fighting, chaos, pain - It's all just getting too difficult to block out. For some reason, today, my guard just completely shut down. I'm really getting sick of everything that goes on here. I cannot wait to get away. I really, honestly, truly need that. I just need to get out of here, discover a new world and live life the best that I can. There's going to be a day that I'm just going to break. I assure you it will come sooner rather than later. And, on that day, I will just want to escape, run, hide, do whatever I can to just leave it all behind. It seems like everything is just a huge disaster right now. But, I know, deep, deep inside that it's not. I mean, I do have things going well for me right now. And, no matter what, Jesus, Brian, Maechelle, Lindsay, Bow, Ben, Kier, Alexandra and possibly a few others will always, always, always love me, even if I don't feel like they do, they do and I just need to remember that.
--Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves one another has fulfilled the law.--
- Mood: In love
- Music: My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend -- Relient K
Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. So, I'm in love - truly, madly, deeply, insanely in love! I am one-hundred percent sure that Brian and I are meant for each other! As far as Christianity, Jesus is definitely, definitely still working with me. There is always room for improvement! I talked with my old pastor this morning, after church. He talked with me about everything. I felt much, much better afterwards.
--Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;--
- Mood: Confused/Sad/Upset
- Music: Breathe You In -- TFK
Brian got upset today about Ariane cussing and Kaitlin approving of it. So, it made me upset that he was upset. I hate it when he's upset. This is the only time I've known of him being upset, but once is enough to say I hate it! I'm not going to tell him he can't be upset because everyone needs that at times, right?! I just...I don't know. I really don't like the fact that he's upset. I wasn't sure what to say to comfort him. And, I didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I didn't even know if there was something I could say to make him feel better. I didn't know what to do and I didn't like that feeling either. I just wanted to hug him, hold him, assure him that everything would be fine and he was making the right decision. I told him everything would be fine and I prayed for him. That's about all I could do, I suppose. I just wish I could do more. I really, truly, honestly do hope he isn't upset for too much longer. I love him so very much! As far as my spiritual walk, I'm still getting closer to Jesus. He is still shaping me and molding me into the right place for his divine plan.
--Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep--
- Mood: Loving
- Music: Oceans From Rain -- Seventh Day Slumber
Alright. So, Brian and I have been together for two months now. We're still going on strong and we both still love each other more than anything on the face of this earth. As far as my spiritual walk, for today, I'm definitely improving. I can feel that. I feel the holy spirit moving through me. I feel God molding me and shaping me into who it is he wants me to be. I can feel that, all of it. And, it feels great! I know I'm coming back to Jesus! I just got through listening to a sermon, "Is It Ever Too Late To Repent." It definitely moved me and brought back hope. My faith is being restored!
--If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.--
- Mood: Calm
- Music: Leaving Ninety-Nine -- Audio Adrenaline
Well, as of tomorrow, Brian and I have been together for two months. So, the relationship is going very well. As far as my spiritual walk, today, everything is beginning to un-fold. I've recently been off-path. I can really feel myself starting to come back though. God is definitely working with me. I suppose that's all I have to say tonight.
--He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake--
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